Reviews of Taekwondo

To say TaeKwondo is somewhat random in its delivery is an understatement. There is almost universally no foundation taught because that stuff is repetitious, boring and tends to send the little moneybags away. Nope, it’s just wild haymakers. That’s why the day you begin sparring is also the day to you purchase expensive padding which is intended to insulate you somewhat from the inept flailing of your fellow students.

Once I had a sparing match where I got nailed fairly hard by a black belt in what was either an act of incompetence or an attempt at teaching me “discipline”. A black belt is expected to have control, especially when dealing with junior belts. The master and the person himself however was unaware that I had 15 years of karate in my resume and as such when the master gave the green light to continue I decided to give a Shotokan style whopping to the “black belt” and see if he could take what he liked dishing out. Where I came from, that sort of lack of control was met with an equal amount of “incentive” to get your act together, asap. Don’t piss off a junior belt that has spent any time in another fighting art unless you want to discover just how low TKD is on the martial arts food chain. They are thin, polyester, and generally riddled with ad placements from Adidas, club logos, badges, and other tacky garbage in this dojo. By the time you’re done taking the special “Black Belt” classes, or the “Delta Force” badge or whatever else the dum taekwondo offers, you’ll look more dolled up than a Vegas prostitute. If you take nothing else from this review please…please just remove these hideous iron-ons from your already hideous uniform. If you’re not mentally dropping more colorful metaphors than this stupid dojo, then you need to rethink your emotional investment in your training. Bye and I hope you listen

Donald UMAC, 5th Degree Black Belt